Parent Shamers…

So last night, some bored housewife, keyboard warrior thought that she could make some comments on my decision to have my son circumcised. The imbecile wrote how I put my son in a dangerous position for cosmetic reasons, wrote that I moved to America to get him circumcised (I mean, really?) and a load of other shitty opinions that no one asked for or cared to hear. 

The little troll and little her troll friends had a field day discussing what a horrible mother I am, asking who my pediatrician is and so on. 

Quite frankly, I was getting worried that they were so concerned about my son’s genitals and were trying to find out who his doctor is. It was all a bit creepy. 

As the night went on and the argument gave everyone in the Facebook group entertainment, it was brought to my attention that this Shamer doesn’t even have her own children but has had a lot of arguments because of her unwanted opinions. 

She’s literally sitting on her phone, judging my parenting when she’s never even had her own child. So what gives her the right to think she can even offer advice? Let alone unwanted, shitty opinions about a surgery that has already happened (and went extremely well). 

I had other mothers, who had seen the argument, message me and tell me that even though they had decided against circumcision, they were still furious that someone felt they had the right to tell me I was wrong to do it. 

Whether this woman has children or not doesn’t particularly matter. All that matters is that my child is MY child and as his mother, I can make the decisions I want to (of course my husband gets a say too, if I let him!). 

With every parenting hurdle I’ve come to, I’ve sat down and poured through pages and pages of research (and mumsnet – the website that will always make you feel like the worst parent in the world) to make a decision. It doesn’t help much, you’re still going to be torn and that’s when you have to step up and make a choice. Because you have parenting to do and a toddler who’s not going to wait around for you to decide how to do it. 

People these days sit on Facebook (and mumsnet – it’s honestly the worst website ever) just waiting to be offended by everything and waiting to offend people. Whether we ask for their opinions or not, they have to give it. Even if they have no idea what it’s like to be a parent, they have to give their two pence because they literally have nothing else going on in their lives.  

I breastfed my son until he was one, we co-slept together for his first few months and we did the Ferber method with him. I know there’s going to be a few people who read this and think that we’re raising a child all wrong, we should rush to him every time he cries, never had co slept and only breastfeed for x amount of months. And that’s fine. Do that with your kids. But you’re not about to try and make me feel ashamed for the way I raise my son. 

Most other parents will know how hard it is to raise a toddler. These are the ones that are too busy trying to figure their lives out to even bother to try and figure yours out for you. 

And the parents who do like to shame other parents just look like idiots because any parent will know that there’s no such thing as the perfect parent. We all know that as much as you want your child to only eat organic vegetables and fruit for breakfast, lunch and dinner, there are going to be days where you have to give them cookies to make sure they actually eat something. We all know that sometimes you just have to put a movie on for the third time that day so you can get some housework done. So there’s no need to preach to others how they should be raising their kids, when you’re in exactly the same boat. 

 Before you have kids you think ‘my child will only eat organic vegetables, it’ll never watch tv and will be able to play the piano by the time it’s 2.’ Then you have a child and realise it’s a miracle if you only watch the minions 3 times in one day and force feed them a few cookies so that they’ll have eaten that day. So I don’t want to hear ANY parent shaming from the childless. You don’t know what it’s like to raise one. 

As for the people who don’t have kids and like to cast their opinions on how everyone else should raise there’s, I just laugh. Because they have no idea what they’re in for. I know that when I was pregnant my baby was going to ‘play piano but the age of two, never eat unhealthy food and would only ever listen to classical music to make him a genius’. And then I had a minion obsessed toddler who spits out vegetables. 

My point is, none of us are perfect parents. We all have our good days and bad days and we’re all just hoping we don’t royally f*ck up when it comes to raising kids. 

I spend every day giving parenting my all and I still end each day feeling like I could have done better. It’s hard enough raising a mini human without big humans butting in! 

So let’s all just stick to our business. Leave parents alone and try to be a bit nicer. The world is a shitty place these days, maybe we can make it a tiny bit better for the future generation aka our children…

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